SexPosFemme Journal

Sunday, July 23, 2006


Having thought about it, I realize now that my last post on stereotypes was a politically correct cop-out. In actuality I feel that for better or worse, stereotypes are on average true. First, some common stereotypes:

Blacks: feel rhythms, musical, spiritual, sexual, athletic, easy going, intuitive

Whites: count rhythms, make bland food, punctual, organized, adventurous

Asians: mathematical, technologically innovative, quiet, precise, operate grocery stores and nail salons, high IQs

Hispanics: somewhat feel and somewhat count rhythms, festive, spiritual, sexual, affable, patriotic about Latin country of origin sporting country's flag, soccer fanatics, prefer blonds

Native Americans: look black, white, or Hispanic, proud, spiritual

Jews: entrepreneurial, scientific, assimilationist, upper-middle class

Arabs: good hygiene,

Notice how the black and Hispanic ones are similar? Being both spiritual and sexual is due to Afro-Diasporan religious tradition. The tradition still exists for black Americans through evangelism and Pentecostalism. Hispanics adapted to the beliefs unlike white Americans because of the larger number of African slaves in Latin America. Blacks and Hispanics are able to be both deeply spiritual and at the same time sexual because the religious path doesn't separate spirituality from sexuality, and while black American Protestantism does, the impulse still comes through in music and dance. Hispanic dances have both European and African qualities. The European aspect includes dancing in pairs, a male lead, repetitive steps, and complex turns. The African aspect includes colorful attire, energetic and sensual shaking, hand-held drums, the names of the dances, and a lively smile. Meanwhile notice how Whites and Asians share similar "stereotypes". Is it sheer coincidence then that blacks and Hispanics tend share a bond while whites and Asians tend to associate more closely with one another?

It appears then that cultures place a premium on time and calculation. Asians made and continue to produce the latest gagdets, but Europe has more economic prosperity because the stereotype of adventure and true. Chinese and Japanese civilizations never ventured out to other shores, because they knew they were the most technologically savvy and because they believed themselves to be the center of the world. Europeans with their proclivity for risky adventure, seized on the opportunity to adapt these technologies from the Asians.
People shy away from acknowledging the truth behind stereotypes because quite frankly, they hurt. No one wants to associate with the labels of lazy or unmotivated, much less unintelligent. But Dinesh D'Souza contends in The End of Racism that all we have to do is phrase the negative stereotypes positively and people will embrace them as truth. If instead of lazy we say laid-back, blacks will often agree. But besides that, what culture is perfect? If they are lazy individuals who presumably have good attributes and strengths, like for instance integrity, then why not groups? All cultures have their strengths and weaknesses and the world would be bankrupt in one way or another without each cultures' contributions. Organization and inventiveness are not worth a life bereft of music or spirit, and the best samba solo won't pay the bills. Both liberal need for colorblindness and conservative goal of individualistic perceptions reflect a psychological bias that makes white and Asian cultures inherently superior a deeply rooted inferiority complex on the part of blacks and Hispanics. If blacks have to see themselves as just as punctual then they're really saying that white is right. This same psychological bias creates the sad irony of Afrocentrists touting ancient Egypt as representative of "black greatness". Even though slaves were traded from the Western side of the continent, and Egyptians are hardly black, Afrocentrists and their ilk cleave ancient Egypt because it represents all they have been conditioned to believe is good and right with the world: money, inventions, and figures. They don't even have knowledge of Egyptian music. You would think that coming from a culture that puts such a heavy emphasis on music, they would pick an African country with a rich musical tradition like Nigeria or Ethiopia.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

5 Myths About Sex-Positive Feminists

1. Sex positive feminists encourage girls to be sluts
I never felt pressured to have sex. I started being a sex-positive feminist when I was still a virgin, meaning I hadn't had vaginal intercourse yet. I clarify what I mean by virgin because the concept of vaginal sex as the main sex and only way to lose "purity" is both patriarchal and heterosexist. In mainstream society a slut is a woman who has intercourse with many men. In sex-positive feminism, a vast range of activities, even just reading an erotic novel, are considered having sex. And most of the leading theorists of sex-positive feminism are bisexual, so they could have female partners most or even all of the time. Betty Dodson is the matriarch of the sex-positive feminist movement and her primary focus is on liberating women and to a lesser extent men from the stigma attached to masturbation. While sex-positive feminists do defend the wide range of sexual choices availible to women, including having multiple intercourse partners, the key word is choice. The focus is on getting women to understand what they want out of their own sex lives and for their own bodies, regardless of how little or how much they decide they do want.

2. Sex positive feminists encourage girls to be dykes
Again most of the leading theorists of sex-positive feminism, including Camille Paglia and Susie Bright, are bisexual. In sex-positive feminism there is nothing necessarily inherently liberating about avoiding male contact or lesbianism, as in lesbian separatism. And unlike in militant feminism, to sex-positive feminists men don't necessarily embody a problem and aren't typified as the oppressor. At the same time, there are lesbian sex-positive feminists, and On Our Backs is a sex-positive lesbian publication.

3. Sex positive feminists are just catering to men's desires
The reason people assume that sex-positive feminists are merely catering to men's desires is because of the sexist notion that only men enjoy sex in the first place. But sex-positive feminism shatters that archaic notion, as it about women's sexual pleasure. Betty Dodson's masturbation techniques focus on clitoral orgasms, and she contends that the clit is women's primary sexual organ rather than the vagina. Susie Bright produces pornography and erotic for women by women, where the women in the productions focus on their pleasure, and the results will cater to women's sexual desires. The fact that men happen to appreciate brazen women who actively participate in partnersex, know what they want, and like sex as much or more than they do is just happenstance, not the aim of the movement.

4. Sex positive feminists defend misogynists
Sex positive is not jerk positive. This myth might stem from either a mainstream or militant feminist assumption that sexual men are inherently misogynistic, that there is no difference between a man being cavalier about sex and disrespecting women. But there is. A man who knowingly spreads infectious diseases is not sex-positive. Neither is a man who deceives his partner. And neither is a man who harasses, sexually assaults, or hurls hostile epithets at women. On the other hand, unlike a more extreme stereotype of feminism, sex-positive feminism doesn't place men in the position of being the villian par excellence.

5. Sex positive feminism is "babe feminism"
Sex-positive feminism has nothing to do with looks. Women are not exactly encouraged to be healthy but neither are they encouraged to be fixated on body image issues. Susie Bright made it clear in The Sexual State of the Union that women who diet aren't working on having orgasms and that anorexic women can develop inorgasmia. Only in mainstream media, the co-opted and packaged version of sex-positive feminism seen in Cosmo and Sex in the City, is sexual energy for women connected to having the perfect body. The women's pornography and erotica feature organic-looking women. The leading theorists are on average 45 years old, Betty Dodson being 72. Contrary to popular belief, even strippers come in all shapes and sizes and have average women's flaws, let the average sex-positive feminist.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Tyra, try again

Last night the Tyra Banks Show featured a group of ten teens, five boys, and five girls. They talked candidly about their sex lives and the sexual scene in high school. One 15 year old girl had had four sexual partners. Another teen boy had first had oral sex at the age of 10, and didn't remember how old the girl was. Not only were the boys, as expected, very cavalier when discussing their sex lives, but the girls were also quite candid.
In a few short years things have changed since I was in high school and middle school. We still called sex "doing IT" and people who received oral sex in their preteens like me were marked with the scarlet O. It was good to see that the teens of this day and age, whether through their parents, or as I would guess, the media co-optation of sex-positive feminism, are more comfortable talking about sex, an important part of their growth and liberation as young men and women.
Of course it was too good to be true. The parents tried to turn it into a guilty trip to sex-negative land just when the teens were starting to open up. They were made to apologize for having "disappointed" their parents through their actions. Also Tyra flirted with bi-phobia when she suggested that the teens were getting ideas about bisexuality through the media. A very laughable leap of logic, because they could be getting those same ideas from the media that then lead them to become straight. How would we know, and if so, so what?

Monday, July 10, 2006

Sexual Progress

All three polls the question was phrased as:
Sexual Double Standard (sexual boy stud, sexual girl slut)

The polls had slightly different options, but they were along the same lines. In the second poll, the options were 1. Much deserved 2. Deserved 3. Don't care 4. Terrible and 5. Horrible. There was no ambiguity between the terms "terrible" and "horrible" because having started with "much deserved" it was clear thhe options comprised a spectrum. In first and third polls, the options were 1. Very fair 2. Very unfair 3. Don't know 4. Unfair 5. Very unfair.

In the first poll, the vast majority (69%) voted "very unfair."

Very fair
0 votes (0%)
0 votes (0%)
Don't know
1 votes (8%)
3 votes (23%)
Very unfair
9 votes (69%)

In the second poll, only 1 person said that it was much deserved. 42% voted that the sexual double standard is beyond "terrible", and is in fact "horrible."

Much deserved
1 votes (3%)
0 votes (0%)
Don't care
7 votes (23%)
10 votes (32%)
13 votes (42%)

Finally, in a third poll, only one vote went for "very fair" and only one vote went to "fair". The vast majority (60%) voted that the sexual double standard is "very unfair."

Very fair
1 votes (7%)
1 votes (7%)
Don't know
0 votes (0%)
4 votes (27%)
Very unfair
9 votes (60%)

Are stereotypes true? Part II

Some common stereotypes

Blacks: feel rhythms, spiritual, sensual, proud, intuitive

Whites: punctual, entrepreneurial, organized, polite

Asians: mathematical/technological, hard-working, precise

Hispanics: festive, carnivalesque, spiritual, very proud of Latin country of origin

Dangerous ground--

Women: Nonsexual, repressed unless sluts

Men: Sexual, confident, unconcerned about body image, FREE!

I thought about it in more detail and decided that stereotypes, whether or not they are true, are unfair measures to use on an individual basis, because they dehumanize. It serves us no purpose to acknowledge stereotypes because this leads to make assumptions about people in advanced, which undermines a person's individuality. I know that the perception is that men are more sexual and women are sexually reserved, trading sex for love or security. That has to be the most sexist concept the society has ever carved out, and thankfully this double standard is waning, as mentioned in my last post. It's my biggest pet peeve for people to assume that women are not as sexual. But maybe generally speaking women aren't. After all, I've been to gay bars and lesbian bars, and what I noticed is that lesbian bars tend to be more about coupling and relationships, gay bars seem to be more about sexual excitement. But when I've been with my bisexual and swinger friends the trend is very different and in those worlds, women tend to be very sexually charged, almost more than the men. And I'm sure there are sexual lesbians, or else there would be no On Our Backs Readership. And romantic gays, or there would be no push for gay marriage. To set that standard for all women of course has always been the beginning of sexual repression and oppression. So looking at it from a feminist standpoint, instead of an "Afrocentric" one, I decided it's better to overlook group traits and trends rather than try to celebrate them.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Are stereotypes true?

I am under the impression that all stereotypes are true, and that they are aspects of each ethnic groups' culture. Culture refers to patterns of human activity. So aside from what types of food, clothing, or a religion an ethnic group cultivates, certain behavioral characteristics will also sprout among the group as a general rule.
People usually agree with stereotypes being part of the culture if it is phrased positively. For example, people agree that blacks are spiritual but will disagree that blacks are superstitious. The good traits become archetypes and the bad traits arbitrarily get dubbed as stereotypes that are untrue. However, no culture is a perfect, and since they are created and exist on planet Earth they will have their flaws. Therefore negative stereotypes are also true reflections of the culture. Besides, it depends on a subjective spin on the cultural trend. One man's spirituality is another man's superstition. I think in spite of the stereotypes that circulate about blacks, taking the good with the bad, if we embrace the stereotypes, we as blacks will find a lot to be proud of.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Seven Deadly Sins Test

More or less accurate, I need to get it in gear if my gluttony outweighs by pride, haha let them at least match up. You can obviously tell by this blog why the sloth and lust are in the same (pretty high) amounts.


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